But My Child Isn’t Talking
What We Often Miss About Language Development
When a child isn’t talking yet, it is understandable that parents become worried.
The focus can quickly become words.
How many words are they saying? Should they be saying more? How can we encourage them to talk? Should we prompt them, ask questions or get them to repeat words?
But My Child Isn’t Talking was written by Dana Baltutis, Speech Pathologist, DIR® Floortime practitioner and Director of My Therapy House, because after many years of working with children, families and therapists, Dana felt we were often starting in the wrong place.
Language does not begin with words.
It begins much earlier.
It begins in a child’s body, relationships and experiences. It develops through feeling safe, being regulated, connecting with another person, sharing attention, playing, developing ideas, understanding meaning and discovering that communication is worthwhile.
Why Dana wrote this book
Throughout her career, Dana met many parents who had been told what they needed to teach their child, but had not been helped to understand why their child was communicating in the way they were.
She met children who were quiet and cautious. Children who needed to move. Children who were highly sensitive or easily overwhelmed. Children who communicated through their bodies, sounds, gestures, play and behaviour.
She also met children who could say many words but still found it difficult to understand language, share ideas or engage in meaningful back-and-forth communication.
When we look only at whether a child is talking, we can miss so much of the communication that is already happening.
But My Child Isn’t Talking invites parents and therapists to look underneath the words.
Rather than asking only:
“How do we get this child talking?”
the book encourages us to become curious about:
Who is this child?
How are they already communicating?
What helps them feel safe and connected?
What foundations are already developing?
What are they ready for next?
What is the book about?
But My Child Isn’t Talking takes complex ideas about developmental language and makes them simple, practical and relevant to everyday life.
It explores many of the foundations that can influence communication, including:
regulation • relationships • sensory processing • emotional development • play • family experiences • parent regulation • mindset
The book also introduces the developmental principles behind the DOLLI™: Developmental Observation of Language: Links to Intervention, developed by Dr Sima Gerber and Michele Ricamato.
Rather than focusing only on how many words a child can say, the DOLLI™ framework looks more deeply at six areas of communication development:
Regulation • Shared Engagement • Intentionality • Ideas and Meaning • Comprehension • Production
This helps us understand not simply what a child cannot yet do, but what they can already do, where they are developmentally and what they may be ready for next.
How can this book help parents?
For parents, this book offers a different way of seeing their child.
It can help parents begin to recognise communication that may previously have gone unnoticed.
- A glance.
- Taking your hand.
- Bringing you something.
- Moving closer.
- Moving away.
- Making a sound.
- Repeating a familiar phrase.
- Sharing a smile.
- Inviting you into their play.
These moments matter. They are communication.
The aim of the book is not to give parents another list of things they should be doing.
Instead, it helps parents understand what may be happening underneath their child’s communication so they can meet their child where they are and support the next developmental step without unnecessary pressure.
As Dana writes in the book:
“They stop chasing words. They start seeing their child.”
How can this book help therapists?
But My Child Isn’t Talking is also written for Speech Pathologists, Occupational Therapists, Early Childhood professionals, students and other professionals supporting children and families.
It provides therapists with a simple way of explaining developmental communication to parents without overwhelming them with clinical terminology.
It encourages therapists to look beyond milestones and spoken words and consider the whole child: their regulation, sensory system, relationships, play, understanding, ideas and individual way of communicating.
Most importantly, it can support a different kind of conversation with families.
Instead of beginning with:
“Here is what your child can’t do yet.”
we can begin with:
“Here is what your child is already doing. Here is what it means. And here is where we can begin.”
Dr Sima Gerber, Speech Language Pathologist and co-author of the DOLLI™, describes the book as filling an important need by translating developmental language work into an accessible, parent-friendly resource that can also be used with students and clinical supervisors.
Communication begins before words
Ultimately, But My Child Isn’t Talking is not simply a book about helping children talk.
It is about helping the adults around a child understand communication differently.
Because before words, there is so much happening.
Connection. Safety. Regulation. Play. Understanding. Ideas. Relationships. Joy.
When we understand and support these foundations, we give communication somewhere to grow.
Attuned Workplaces
Creating a Future Where Neurodiversity Belongs
People do not all think, communicate, learn, process information or work in the same way.
Yet many workplaces are still built around the expectation that people should adapt to the workplace, rather than asking how the workplace might also adapt to its people.
Attuned Workplaces: Creating a Future Where Neurodiversity Belongs, written by Dana Baltutis, explores a different approach.
It is about creating workplaces where people are understood as individuals, where difference is valued and where people do not have to continually change who they are in order to belong.
Why Attuned Workplaces?
Dana Baltutis is a Speech Pathologist, coach, trainer and Director of My Therapy House.
Across her career, Dana has spent decades exploring what helps people feel safe enough to communicate, connect, learn and contribute.
Her work with neurodivergent children, families, therapists and teams has reinforced a simple but powerful idea:
People do better when we seek to understand them, rather than continually asking them to fit into environments that do not work for them.
The same principle that applies to children applies to adults.
Instead of asking:
“How do we get this person to fit into our workplace?”
Attuned Workplaces encourages us to ask:
“What is happening for this person, and what might help them do their best work?”
That change in thinking can change the experience of work.
What is an Attuned Workplace?
Attunement begins with noticing.
Noticing how people experience the workplace.
Listening to what they are communicating.
Being curious when something is not working.
Recognising individual strengths and differences.
And being willing to adapt when a person, team or workplace needs something different.
Being an Attuned Workplace does not mean removing expectations or creating a completely different workplace for every employee.
It means recognising that different people may need different things to achieve the same outcome.
Rather than placing all the responsibility on an individual to adapt, we begin asking what the person, the environment, the systems and the people around them can each contribute.
The 8 Attunements
At the heart of the book are 8 Attunements that help organisations look beneath the surface of workplace culture.
They explore areas such as:
Safety
Do people feel safe enough to speak, ask questions, make mistakes and be themselves?
Sensory
Needs How do noise, lighting, movement, interruptions and the physical environment affect people’s ability to work?
Communication
Do we recognise that people communicate and process information differently?
Learning
Are people given opportunities to learn and understand information in ways that work for them?
Autonomy
Do people have appropriate choice, flexibility and ownership over how they work?
Relationships
Are relationships built on trust, understanding and genuine connection?
Environment
Does the workplace environment support people to do their work, or unintentionally create barriers?
Growth
Are people’s strengths recognised and are they supported to continue developing?
Together, the 8 Attunements encourage us to look at the whole workplace, rather than seeing the individual employee as the problem.
More Than Workplace Adjustments
Supporting neurodivergent employees is sometimes reduced to providing individual workplace adjustments.
Adjustments can be important, but genuine inclusion goes much deeper.
Someone may have an adjustment and still feel misunderstood.
They may attend meetings but not feel safe enough to contribute.
They may be performing well while using enormous amounts of energy trying to fit in.
They may appear to be coping while becoming increasingly overwhelmed.
Attuned Workplaces encourages leaders and organisations to become curious about what is happening underneath what they see.
Because being included is not necessarily the same as feeling that you belong.
Attuned Workplaces at My Therapy House
At My Therapy House, Attuned Workplaces is more than a book.
It reflects the kind of workplace we are intentionally creating.
We are proud to be an Attuned Workplace and to put these principles into practice with our own team.
We recognise that the people who work at My Therapy House bring different strengths, communication styles, sensory needs, personalities, experiences and ways of thinking.
We don’t expect everyone to work or communicate in exactly the same way.
We aim to understand the person in front of us and create the conditions that allow them to do their best work.
For our team, this includes thoughtful workloads, time for planning and administration, mentoring and professional development, opportunities for collaboration, flexibility where possible and a home-like working environment.
It also means continuing to look at ourselves.
Are our systems working?
Are expectations clear?
Do people feel able to ask for help?
Are we communicating in ways that work for different people?
Are we using people’s strengths?
Is there something we could do differently?
Being an Attuned Workplace does not mean getting everything right.
Attunement means noticing, listening, reflecting and being willing to change.
The ideas within Attuned Workplaces have therefore not been developed in theory alone.
They have been shaped through the real experience of creating and leading a workplace, supporting a team and continually learning what helps different people feel safe, valued and able to contribute.
At My Therapy House, we are proud that these ideas are not simply talked about.
They are lived.
Who is Attuned Workplaces for?
Attuned Workplaces is for:
- Business owners and organisational leaders
- Managers and team leaders
- HR and People & Culture professionals
- Allied health, health and education organisations
- Teams wanting to better understand neurodiversity
- Neurodivergent employees
- Anyone interested in creating a workplace where different people can belong
Although the book has a strong focus on neurodiversity, its message is ultimately about people.
We all have different nervous systems, communication styles, strengths, sensory needs, ways of learning and life experiences.
When workplaces become better at understanding difference, they can become better workplaces for everyone.
Practical Ideas for Real Workplaces
Attuned Workplaces is designed to move beyond awareness and into action.
Through the 8 Attunements, reflections, examples and practical strategies, it encourages organisations to notice what is already working and identify where changes could make a difference.
Sometimes the change might be environmental.
Sometimes it might be clearer communication.
Sometimes someone needs greater flexibility or autonomy.
Sometimes expectations need to be made more explicit.
And sometimes it begins with a leader asking:
“What do you need from me to help you do your best work?”
Small changes can have a significant impact when they are based on genuinely understanding the person.
Creating a Future Where Neurodiversity Belongs
The future of work does not need everyone to think alike, communicate alike or work alike.
It needs workplaces that can recognise and work with human difference.
Attuned Workplaces provides a practical framework for beginning that change.
Not by trying to fix people.
Not by expecting everyone to fit the same mould.
But by noticing, listening, understanding and adapting.
Because when people feel safe, understood, valued and able to contribute as themselves, we create more than an inclusive workplace.
We create a place where people belong.